citadark

hello and welcome to the coffee page. this will contain as much information as exists in my head, a bit of a detour into how coffee brewing and coffee roasting became a huge hyperfixation of mine, and probably pages on local coffee blends i try!


how i got into coffee brewing; or, what twitch streaming does to you --


i grew up in a house where the coffeepot (drip, running the cheapest preground grinds we could afford, naturally) was going 24/7. there was always a few cups of coffee on tap for everyone, and coffee was handed out like fucking candy - got a headache at 14? get some coffee. tired? coffee time. approaching what id later learn was a meltdown? have a cup of coffee and relax. cant focus for your finals at 15? get some coffee. so i was no actual stranger to like, the concept of coffee hitting 18, and i often enjoyed a mocha or a ton of milk and sugar dumped in to foldgers begrudgingly, but it hadnt fully developed into a fixation and defining characteristic of me... yet.

that change happened at 18, or close to my 18th. and its allllll because of twitch streaming.

no, seriously.


to tl;dr some necessary context - ive been huuuugely into the YTer fandom and culture since 2011. i watched the many rises and falls of classic youtubers - you know them if i list them, really; remember achievement hunter? remember (long sigh) p*wd*ep*e? you name it. in 2016 the rise of twitch streaming excited me greatly and i switched to watching primarily VODs and twitch streams rather than youtube lets plays, but the spirit was the same.

also in 2016, i was introduced to the canadian streamers, content creators, and comedy improv group loadingreadyrun by my fiance. so by 2018, LRR had become a pretty integral part of my life - the community was incredibly sweet, the content was extremely varied and hit all of my interests - MTG, TTRPGs, variety games, and.... minecraft. watching their weekly MC stream, mine o clock, was one of my favorite parts of the week and really captured a dying market for me - those teenagers who grew up watching the classic MCYTers like captainsparklez and antvenom doing survivals. "zero, how the fuck is any of this relevant to coffee", you are asking me. im almost there i promise!


one of the mainstays of mine o clock, serge yager, was getting more into his own home stream off LRR time around that year - and he happened to be my favorite player on mine o clock, due to his general content style that i wont force you to hear the details of, okay? suffice it to say i immediately jumped on attending his livestreams especially since they lined up neatly with the hours i wasnt out of the house. serge is also a former coffee barista, with an incredible passion and love for the craft and the brew that i hope one day to be even a fifth of.


see where this is going? listening to him talk excitedly about coffee blends and types, preparation, the different types of brewers and brews, how each coffee bean could be different taste and texture wise from each other - brother, i came for the blocks and stayed enraptured by the coffee breaks. and then, one week - if i remember right it was an anniversary giveaway, and im sure i still have the card somewhere that came with it (spoilers!) - his little channel held a small giveaway for a few bags of local roasted beans that he himself enjoyed.


spoiler alert, to my great surprise i was one of the winners. what was probably a $18 [USD] bag of small roastery coffee beans was also the spark that lit up the pile of tinder in my brain that his streams had been feeding for months. it was the exact kick i needed to stop moping about, wishing i could get into coffee brewing... and just do it.


its all been up/downhill from there, depending on who you ask! i thrifted my first french press the same month and was off to the races with my shitty teakettle id had for two years (also thrifted, peeling paint on the outside and horribly leaky spout from subpar tea usage in all of its glory - i use it as a display piece now) down a rabbithole of passion. id flirted for years with a love of coffee shops and cafes beforehand, but this little victory in a community of wonderful folks was the match that lit the bonfire in my heart and gave me a push to pursue what was a rapidly growing passion.


my setup


my current personal setup is a glass and copper french press - not the first one i ever thrifted, which now lives politely as a display piece, but a much nicer and more to my aesthetic one that i still actually thrifted lol :p -, a stainless steel gooseneck stovetop kettle that i purchased three paychecks in to my new job back in 2021, an akirakoki wooden manual cast iron burr grinder, my trusty kitchen scale that gets much more use than just weighing coffee beans, and a pair of roughly 70s-80s era fiestaware 8oz coffee cups.

a copper french press, a wooden burr handheld grinder, a steel gooseneck kettle, a small tabletop wooden burr grinder, a clear snap canister of coffee beans with gay pride stickers, and a kitchen scale barely in frame.

a big happy coffee family!



types of coffee makers


i snub the drip coffeepot. i understand its usage, but i shun it nonetheless. welcome to my house where i am going to get you aschooled on the different types and styles of coffee makers & preparation.


french press --


the french press is essentially a glass or heat-resistant plastic kettle with a metal plunger going through the center, with a metal filter attached to the bottom and a small knob at the top. your coarsely-ground coffee grinds go in the bottom of the press with the plunger removed, and hot water is poured on top of them. the lid is then closed and allowed to brew for around 4 minutes, before pressing (or 'decanting') the press down to the bottom at a slow and steady pace - hence the 'press' part of it. if you think of classic diner coffee, im willing to bet if you went to diners before the 2010s your platonic ideal is a french press brew!

the french press method produces a very full-bodied and textured coffee - not 'textured' as in the brew itself will be anything other than a liquid, but a french press produces a 'grittier' and oily-er cup of coffee that has a very well-rounded flavor. bloom isnt always required in french presses, but i prefer to bloom the grinds as it also warms up the vessel.

good for: breakfast coffee, single cup or double cup (ideal for one to two people), roasts with deeper and rich flavors such as nuts, chocolate, etc
grind type: medium-coarse (i prefer coarse, roughly the feel of regular sugar or kosher sea salt, but i think you can get away with a liiiittle finer or a little more coarse.)
brew time: around 4-5 minutes; use slightly less time if you go for a finer grind as a cautionary tale!


pourover--


ah, the pourover, otherwise known as "the brew method i recommend to people i know who are moving from drip coffeemakers"; a pourover is a glass/ceramic/plastic (please dont get plastic) cone that holds a paper filter that the coffee grinds go into, a la the basket on a drip machine; the other end, the big circle end (visualization: (>0 ) is set on top of your coffee mug or brew vessel depending on how much youre brewing at once! some people use just a big ol glass jar for their brew vessel, others have a dedicated glass pot, etc. after pre-wetting your paper filter with warm water to rinse the filter, remove the papery taste and ensure the filter, pourover and brew vessel are slightly warmed, coffee grinds go into the filter and boiling water is slowly poured over them - hence the name!

this is the basics of it; the technique involved in a pourover is both extremely simple and complex simultaniously, as a good extraction requires several pass throughs of pouring over and then waiting for it to drain to the bottom. the 'spiral' is a common pourover technique with a gooseneck kettle, in which your water is poured over the grinds in tightly controlled spirals in the middle, inching as close to the edge as possible without touching the filter. touching the filter with water will cause heavy extraction problems; water likes to take the path of least resistance, and going between the paper filter and the grinds is definitely the easiest way to get from point A to B... but that doesnt make a good cup of coffee! however, even just pouring over, giving the grinds a good swirl with a stick or spoon and waiting for the brew to complete will get you a fairly decent cup. a bloom is a must in pourovers.

good for: anything! the pourover makes a rather light, 'clean' cup of coffee and again if you like drip coffeemakers this is going to be the closest fancier brew you can get to what youre already drinking.
grind type: fine (preground coffee you buy is going to be this grind; it still has visible individual Grind Pieces, but otherwise feels very even and smooth. think ionized table salt like my friend mortons.)
brew time: between 3-4 minutes; the finer your grind, the less time you want.


aeropress --


im gonna be honest, the aeropress simultaniously scares me and delights me. its like a little coffee syringe! the aeropress is a 1 cup (MAYBE two, if you know what youre doing) little coffee maker that combines the french press and the pourover in technique, style, and texture profile. like a pourover, you pre-rinse a paper filter -- this time its a little paper disk rather than a cone, and it goes into the plastic disk end of the aeropress. you then measure in your exact amount of coffee grinds, bloom the grinds like you would in a pourover, insert the plunger... and plunge!

originally it was marketed as an alternative, quicker way to make an espresso shot; however the paper filter combined with the blooming method actually makes this brew have more in common with a pourover than an espresso! the texture profile and taste seems to be consistantly regarded as fuller bodied than a pourover, but the paper filter removes a good chunk of the "grit" and coffee oils from this brew. if french press is a little too *much* but a pourover seems a little too thin, give the aeropress a whirl!

good for: traveling, especially - the aeropress is like.... small enough to fit in a carryon bag.
grind type: medium-fine (a bit finer than a pourover, but still in the realm of table salt-feel seems to be an agreed upon standard for the aeropress. i assume anything bigger than espresso grind will probably turn out fine though.)
brew time: 2~ minutes


moka pot --


dude, idk if my life was just fucked up (it was) or what, but i associate the moka pot with its cousin the percolator because growing up my dad misused one of these bad boys as a percolator whenever he went hunting. fond memories of badly brewed coffee at 4 am because i couldnt sleep! anyways, the moka pot is a stovetop coffee maker used more commonly in europe and latin america, and it is Technically an italian form of coffeemaking!

the base of the moka pot unscrews and you fill it with already heated water; a metal cone filter is inserted into the base afterwards, and filled with your coffee grinds! you then screw the top part back on (the collection chamber is actually the part with the handle and the spout!) and boil the water over controlled heat; water boils up through the middle of the filter directly through the coffee grinds a la an espresso maker, and spouts over the top of the filter into the collection pot, safely away from the grinds. you have to physically remove this bad boy from your element before the water at the bottom finishes evaporating entirely, else you get the Sludge (too-fine coffee grinds and under/overheated water) in your brew. a moka coffee is a cousin of the espresso, but the pressure its extracted under is faaaaaaaaar less than what is required to legally call something an espresso - theyre still pretty similar, though!

good for: fancy coffees or a more espresso-like variant of what a good ol french press will get you!
grind type: medium-fine (same as the aeropress!)
brew time: 3-4 minutes


percolator --


you know that thing i mentioned just above that is a cousin of the moka pot? meet the percolator, which if you have been around anyone who looooooves camping or vintage camping/cookware, youve probably seen one of these! a percolator is basically a fancy looking metal pot with a basket for the coffee grinds and a small metal pipe running through the middle of it; water is put in the bottom of the percolator, taking care not to touch the basket, and coarse grinds are put in the basket. as the water boils, it flows up the pipe, over the coffee grinds, and back into the water until all you have left is extracted coffee! fun fact: the "perk" that a percolator is referring to is the small clicking and banging sound of the hot water hitting the percolator lid before falling back down.

good for: camping coffee! sorry i cant give it anything else. but its cool!
grind type: coarse (same as french press!)
brew time: 7-10 minutes


chemex --


ok, so this is actually like the immediate sibling of the pourover. but like, it makes a difference, okay? they have the same familial name but theyre different. a chemex is an hourglass-shaped glass pourover style that typically includes a triangular shaped glass vessel for the coffee to brew into at the bottom, and a wooden ring/collar around the top of the brew vessel and bottom of the pour over cone. that wooden ring is heatproof and is typically how you hold it!

"ok, so, whats the difference?" you ask me. the chemex takes a very, very thick style of paper filter that removes an astronomically high amount of coffee oils and grit from your brew, making a chemex brew the 'cleanest' type of coffee you can drink - if you find even a standard pourover is just too much, the mouthfeel is just Too Bad, you may want to spring for a chemex brew and see if that suits your fancy!

good for: if you dislike pourovers for being too gritty, you want to try this one.
grind type: fine (identical to pourover)
brew time: between 3-4 minutes; the finer your grind, the less time you want. (identical to pourover)


coffee siphon --


dude i love looking at these bad boys. you may also recognize a coffee siphon instantly, if you like some video games and pay a stupid amount of attention to the in game cafes of video games, as the coffee pot that brewster uses in every single version of the roost since animal crossing: wild world released! equally unsurprisingly, from all ive learned and heard so far, the coffee siphon is particularly popular in japanese cafes; and the two most well-known creators of modern siphons today are japanese brands! (however, this coffeemaker was invented during the 1850s! its certainly theatrical enough for it.)

ok, so, how does it work? this shit looks like a science experiment and i love it. you soak a paper filter, drop it to the bottom of your siphons top half (apparently this is called a hopper!), fill the bottom half of your siphon with hot water, assemble the hopper into the bottom half; wait for your water to boil into the hopper half of the siphon, then add in your coffee grinds to the hopper! then stir the grinds a bit to ensure theyre covered in water up there because holy shit what is going on? youre pouring GRINDS into WATER. this shit is CRAZY. you then leave it to brew for about a minute, take it off the heat, stir the top with a bamboo paddle, and then leave your siphon alone so the coffee drains back into the bottom bulb so you can then pour it. phew. holy shit. this coffee method got me feeling like fucking Walter White.

good for: looking absolutely sick as fuck and impressing everyone you know.
grind type: medium-fine
brew time: 1 1/2 minutes (this does not include the time where youre waiting for the water to boil up before you add the grinds, though)


espresso machine --


you are familiar with this. this is your best friend and most beloved cornerstone of any coffeeshop or cafe, from sbux to the little local one that has odd hours in town - you know the one. an espresso machine, essentially, blasts boiling hot water at extremely high PSIs through your portafilter and coffee grinds to create a good shot. pulling a good espresso shot is the mark of a truly skilled barista, and i honestly do not find myself with full confidence in being able to advise you on how to pull a perfect shot at home when im still personally learning how to finagle the espresso machine myself. i CAN tell you that the boiling water pressed through the little handle and cup (this is called a portafilter) must be at or exceed 9 PSI to qualify as espresso. the grinds packed into a portafilter are often whisked through with a little small 'whisk' like object to ensure no clumps and air pockets are in the grinds, then tamped down to ensure as much pressure as possible hits that bad boy.

if you have obtained a home espresso machine, godspeed. you are more powerful than i am currently. i wish to be you. please go look up extensive guides on pulling a shot, because i think its one of those things you have to learn like a technique passed down by samurai masters.

good for: everything. lattes, latte art, flat whites, americanos, mochas, macchiatos, theyre all built on the backbone of a solid espresso shot. what CANT you do with this?
grind type: EXTREMELY fine / very fine; typically the finest setting. the only finer grind type there is is for making turkish coffee.
brew time: this is an extremely loaded question but technically around 30-40 seconds. ymmv.



coffeemaking how-tos and lingo


wip; to-do: bloom, grind types (in detail), pouring techniques, grinder lingo, the almighty kitchen scale


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