review: astarion tvr by wanderingbardtoys

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the last time i told someone my fave BG3 character was astarion i was told with so much platonic affection i can do better. i do not want to do better, i want to take dick from mean vampires. speaking of which, wanderingbardtoys' astarion the vampire rogue is exactly what i desire in life!

MATERIAL: platinum cure silicone

FIRMNESS: soft (00-30)

DURABILITY RATING: 4/5 (as of ToR) - durable as long as you arent using nails/teeth/etc

SIZE: XS (4.4"~ usable length, roughly 4" - 4.75"~ circumference range from tip to base)

alright. let me get this out of the way.

ouuhuuu vampire hot . jesus christ. astarion is actually my favorite companion and it isnt even close, not JUST because hes hot, but this is a main blog topic not the sex blog topic. take my word for it, i promise i have the credentials to go oh my god i want astarion to (REDACTED BY THE FAERUN ARCHDUKE)

ok. sick. i am a big fan of WBT and i had been eyeing getting an astarion like.... basically as soon as i began to establish my fantasy cock collection™, and convienently, a prepour in a colorway i fucking LOVE happened right at yuletide festivities! my astarion is an XS drop from the krampus glow colorway and it fucking smacks. seriously. i do love my ominous edgy dicks, man.

i received with this drop purchase:

-1 small cotton cloth canvas-y reusable storage bag
-a silicone gingerbread man :) (this was a holiday drop) (NOTE: i can verify the soft 00-30 should not be bitten i did chew on this and it does now have a lot of bite marks. please dont do this. i did this so you dont have to)
-an astarion sticker <3
-a logo sticker which i gave to my husband

i also purchased an extra bag in large bc i like their storage bags a lot and i wanted a bigger bag to aggregate all of my dicks in because i travel a lot across the border and stuff. so i got that too! the L is really fucking big im assuming this must be what the XL+ range is stored in which puts a little healthy fear into my heart. <3

in use:

astarion fits my husbands strap-on O ring (about 2"~ diam?) pretty comfortably - the balls on this bad boy really help keep it in place - and features a pretty sharp sideways curve on a mostly human-adjacent dick. astarion is basically nonexistant in texture, but frankly, the curve is so sharp and the size is so nice that i have literally 0 problems with the lack of texture. this is currently the only human-ish dildo in my collection, fun fact! itll probably remain the only one for a very long time!

... (muttered) this thing feels fucking awesome to take roughly and rapidly. this dildo feels fucking designed for rough sex, frankly. i think my preferred way of using has to be from behind vaginally; like, i enjoy taking it from behind in general but astarions curve from that position is literally kind of embarrassing to describe. "puddle of drool on my fucking pillow"? "forget how to speak human english for a solid 5 minutes afterwards"? i dont know, dude, the asymmetric side curve is insane especially with rotating it in use. it feels like every slight rotation unlocks a brand new sensory experience that makes my brain melt.

it has a pretty good stretch if im not completely relaxed, and if i am, its very much in the middle (in a good way) of my size range - which is nice, since i tend to use not a lot of lube (masochist and impatient) and also tend to not warm up very much (see previous) so having something that isnt the tiniest one i own thats easy to take off the bat is awesome. i tend to reach for this one as my daily driver because of the middle-of-my-size-range trait.

also, there is just a tiny bit of texture at the base of the dick - astarion has a leather cock harness (😳) that has a few tiny spikes on it, and that tends to bump against my entrance in a really nice way if i take it to the base. its not a huge amount of texture by any metric, but as a masochist and a guy who is fairly sensitive, its a nice little bonus to the way i tend to use it <3

i do fear that astarion has a really solid curve for g-spot stimulation if only because this rapidly became one of those dildos i am moderately scared will make me discover i am capable of squirting and i am too much of a germaphobe for that, but if you arent, this one might have an extra lockpick up its sleeve for you! unfortunately, i cannot attest or deny this capability, because i go out of my way to avoid it.

this is one of the few dildos ive used in the shower, so what i can attest to is that the suction cup base is pretty fucking sturdy! unfortunately i am a short king and i find it a little hard to keep it in at the speed i like to go at but thats kind of a personal problem, not a problem on the model. great suction cup durability, havent had it fall off at all in use. high honors.

overall:

i reach for astarion a *lot* more than i anticipated i would when i bought it. delightfully satisfying with not a whole lot of work, probably the most comfortable stretch without it being too much that i own, 10/10 on the sharp angular curve discovering new weakpoints in me every time i use it. highly recommend for curve enjoyers, astarion enjoyers, and/or people who might want to try g-spot stimulation with this!